The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
