Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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