Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
