in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
