I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
