I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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