my sisters under your porch take her home
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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