I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
