Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
...so i touched it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
