she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
