I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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