the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she woke up with a sticky ear
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
