Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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