You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
