i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
