Are we in a gay sports bar?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
