I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
