Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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