she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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