just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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