"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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