Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
