3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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