Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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