she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize