If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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