maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
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