After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
