Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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