tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
