i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
