As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
