I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
A+ Viking dick
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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