well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
