I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I checked into jail on foursquare
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize