Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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