I just made out with a guy for $7.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
