I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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