He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
