Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
