So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
