D3 body, D1 cock
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
