guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
