Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
