And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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