i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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