Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
