I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
