Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
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You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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