I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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