I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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