He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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