the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
