Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
