Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize