i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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