Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
