the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
