I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
