we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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