no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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