I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize