I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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