Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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