his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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