he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
